The Unadvisable Leather Pants
by Ceredwen
Summary: Hermione and Sirius have undeclared feelings for each other and then Remus teases her with a bit of information. She's clueless so she goes about it dealing with Sirius in her forthright manner and gets everything she's been dreaming of. ONE SHOT


**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters, I just like to play with them**

**Written for the June Challenge at the LJ community hermionesirius**

**The Unadvisable Leather Pants**

Remus and Hermione were on their way to the Black family library, talking excitedly, eager to find a book which contained the instructions for a very powerful shield charm. They had an ambitious idea for protecting Harry in his work as an Auror. While rather adept at looking after himself it never hurt to take extra precautions. As they reached the second landing and were about to continue up to the next floor, a noise paused them. It was a strange grunting and puffing sound.

"Poltergeist?" asked Hermione.

Remus cast a sidelong look at her, it was a sly look and uncharacteristically wicked. "Something a bit more temporal, I fear."

Hermione raised an eyebrow in question but Remus just put his fingers to his lips and then gestured down the hallway. They stole quietly along the corridor, the grunting and puffing getting louder and louder.

"Ghoul?" queried Hermione.

Remus barely held in the snicker as he shook his head.

Midway down the hallway Hermione spied an open door, Sirius' open door to be more precise. The very same whose opening had featured so prominently in many of her fantasies, the fantasies where she opened it and behaved in a very un-Hermione like manner. Hermione bit her lip to put a stop to those thoughts and refocused herself to the task at hand.

They crept further down the hall, silent as mice. The sounds which were now louder still, were coming from within the opened room. Hermione drew her wand, fearing for her secret love's safety, an action which went unnoticed by Remus. He peered around the doorframe into the noisy room. His shaking shoulders persuaded Hermione to stow her wand back in her robes. She stepped to his right and looked in. Her sharp intake of breath made the room's occupant turn his head.

Sirius knew the look on her face only too well. He'd seen it before on the faces of other women in his lifetime. Never did he ever expect to see it on the face of Hermione Granger, although he had hoped. His lips pulled up on one side in a sinful, crooked smile. **"It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it,"** he said of his too tight pants as he gazed into the mirror, "**but it's also true that we don't know what we were missing until it arrives."** He tossed Hermione a roguish wink. Just as he hoped, she blushed scarlet.

Remus threw Sirius a withering look although the warning was clear. Hermione Granger was no mere conquest. Remus was well aware that Sirius had been cautiously pursuing the recalcitrant Miss Granger. Remus knew Sirius to be a good man but he couldn't help but worry. Who knew what Sirius would be like as an adult, newly pardoned and returned to wizarding society? Remus could only go off of Sirius the youth and that spelled trouble with a capitol T. Remus remembered a heartbroken Constance Truewater, who had given herself to Sirius, mistaking lust for love.

Sirius just chuckled at his bristling friend. He knew perfectly well that Hermione was more than a one night stand, in fact, he was counting on it. He bent at the knee with a painful groan, attempting to stretch out the leather so it would fit him more comfortably. He stood back up, opened his stance and adjusted.

Remus led Hermione away from the dangerous spectacle of too much Sirius in not enough leather, drawing her back into their earlier conversation. It was difficult for her to dispel the image of Sirius' perfect arse poured into that lovely leather casing. And what had that last little move at the end been about?

It didn't help matters that she had entertained a crush on him since her fifth year. Once she had mellowed a bit and wasn't constantly lecturing him about Kreacher she'd had the opportunity to get to know him. Her crush had blossomed into love and now she was hopelessly besotted with him. She hid it well and was rather careful not to inconvenience him with her hopeless feelings.

She was resigned to the fact that her love would go on unrequited and satisfied herself with friendship. In all the time she had known him she had never seen him quite as light hearted as he was just now and it made her smile. Fingers being snapped in front of her face caused her to jump back in fright.

"What?" she demanded.

"Well," drawled Remus, "if you don't mind returning to our erstwhile preoccupation, I would be ever so grateful, Miss Granger." He added the last to draw attention to her age.

"And how is Tonks?" asked Hermione without missing a beat, exposing his hypocrisy.

Chastised, with a slight flush, Remus kept any and all future thoughts along a similar vein to himself. If she didn't want a friendly warning; who was he to drive the point home? Once their terse little exchange was over they each threw themselves into their task, conversing only briefly and then only about their shared hunt.

As they worked Remus' thoughts turned back to the little interchange he had been a witness to earlier. Remus stole a thoughtful glance at the young woman beside him. Hermione Granger was no mere conquest. Marlene McKinnon had been no mere conquest either, a fact that Sirius knew and respected.

Thus far his oldest friend hadn't had a great deal of good luck.

"So, is it still off between you and Ron?" asked Remus, striving for casual.

"Oh, yeah. That didn't work out, for either of us actually. We're fine now as friends. A little awkward sometimes because, well, you know." Hermione was blushing furiously and wondering why she was having _this_ conversation with Remus Lupin of all people. She still felt a little guilty over their break up. Ron wasn't Sirius and Hermione couldn't get past that little detail.

"You didn't date a lot did you?" asked Remus. "At Hogwarts, I mean. I heard about the Bulgarian chap."

Again, Hermione could not fathom where this conversation was going. She decided to be flippant about it. "**The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.**" Hermione paused to collect herself, her words had come out harsher than she intended. "Clearly, I'm not the average woman therefore my dating opportunities were a bit thin on the ground."

Remus was stunned into silence. He had no idea she had such a poor opinion of her herself. Did she truly not see what a beautiful young woman she had grown into? He always thought her too sensible to pursue boy after boy the way most teenage girls were given to do. Perhaps a little jolt of reality was just what she needed.

"Dora asked about you the other day." Remus contemplated a little fishing expedition. If he was going to hell he was going to have an accomplice.

"That's nice, tell her I said hello." Remus smiled at her response.

"Well, not exactly you, more in a round about fashion." There, did that constitute as bait?

"Oh? How so?" Hermione paused in her perusal of the ancient text beneath her fingertips and looked up at Remus.

"She was actually asking about her cousin and about the progress he might be making with you." Mysterious, maybe, but hopefully it would lead to questions that absolved him of some of his guilt in this matter. Tonks actually had asked and rather wished Sirius would get on with it. She would never betray Hermione's confidences but it did mean she had an insider's view of Hermione's heart.

"Progress? With me?" Hermione was truly perplexed. "What on earth are you talking about?"

Remus cocked his head at her thoughtfully. She was no willing sinner, this one. She would never jump. He would have to push or simply let the matter rest. One last half hearted effort before he gave up entirely. "What do you think I mean, Hermione?"

"Well, it sounds like Sirius wants to make some sort of progress with me but honestly I'm just not following." For her, it was so far out of the realm of things that were possible that Hermione, who was normally excellent at connecting the dots, simply couldn't make sense of this confusing word puzzle.

"Nevermind." Remus smiled at her and prayed that Sirius would quit with the subtle and just get on with it already. Oh, dear lord. He realized he sounded just like Dora.

"Well, now wait a minute. You meant something by all that. What was it?" Hermione was never one to back down from a challenge.

"Maybe you should ask him. From here on out I'm staying out of it." Remus turned his attention back to the hunt for the illusive spell.

Hermione pursed her lips and made up her mind to do just that. Right now. It was ridiculous that Tonks and Remus knew but he had never brought it to her attention. Apparently it was a rather big deal. Why else would Remus want to stay out of it? They were friends, he should feel free to simply ask for her help and not endeavor to make 'progress' with her. She was a straightforward girl and didn't require any buttering up. "Excuse me, Remus."

Much to his astonishment she got up and walked out of the library. "Bollocks."

Hermione descended one flight of stairs and walked with purpose toward Sirius' door, it was still open but the room was now dark. "Sirius?" There was no reply from within.

Hermione went down one more flight of stairs and peaked into the drawing room. "Sirius?" Still nothing.

She descended the last flight of stairs and entered the basement kitchen. The object of her rather quiet affection was leaning casually against a counter, eating raspberries with chocolate. He was still wearing the unadvisable leather pants and an unbuttoned button down shirt. His toned chest and prison tattoos were on glorious display. His eyes were closed and he was clearly enjoying his treat. A little noise of contentment passed his lips. Hermione lowered her eyes to get a hold of herself and stepped into the light.

"Hi, Sirius," she greeted.

Sirius leisurely opened his eyes, a slow, languorous grin spreading across his face. "Hermione! Would you like some raspberries and chocolate?"

"Maybe later, I actually had a question for you." She bravely stepped closer to him, even though she realized she was blushing.

"My, my…I can't wait to hear this question. That is quite a lovely blush you are sporting." His voice was smooth, deep and uncommonly gentle.

That was enough to irritate her. She threw him an annoyed glance but it only seemed to please him further. He shifted subtly against the counter making her feel a bit like the mouse that was caught napping by the cat. "Yes. Well, I was talking to Remus just now…"

Sirius released a bored sigh. His stance changed again, disinterested now. "Go on."

"Well, he said you were trying to make progress with me about something and Tonks knew about it as well. Aren't we friends Sirius? Couldn't you have just come to me?" Hermione bravely raised her eyes to his, surprised by his wary look of shock.

"Is-is this some sort of joke?" he asked very, very carefully.

"No. What did you need my help on? Just ask." For some strange reason she took a step forward.

Sirius relaxed a bit against the counter and smiled again. "So, I want to make progress with you and you can't figure that out?"

"Quit with the vague and tell me what you want!" Hermione was getting irritated with this and in her aggravation, she took another step forward.

Sirius leaned forward and tucked a stray lock behind her ear. "No idea what that might mean, Hermione?" His voice was suddenly low, gentle but with a rough edge.

Hermione shivered and moved into his touch instead of away from it. Her movement caught him by surprise. He hadn't expected that. He pushed off from the counter and caught her under the chin with a finger. "Shall I show you what that means, Hermione?" His soft murmur, his touch, it was too much. She shivered again.

"I-I'd like to know, yes." It suddenly clicked. She felt like an idiot but honestly who would have guessed? She anticipated his soft lips moving over hers a second before it actually happened. She took another step forward and let him crush her against his wonderful chest. Her hands reached around his neck and fisted in his hair. His hands stroked gently down her spine. He parted her lips with his and tasted her with his tongue. "Mmmmm…"

"What?" asked Sirius, breaking their first tentative kiss to search her eyes.

"**You taste like raspberries and chocolate."**


End file.
